The FTA from Hell
by alicat18
Summary: Stephanie is in hot water when a FTA is on a mission to kill her. Stephanie is put in a position that could destroy her and Morelli's relationship forever.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

When I was a young girl all I even wanted was to have the chance to fly. While other girls played with their Barbies, I was pretending I was Peter Pan and jumping off rooftops. In my mind I lived in Never Never Land leading the lost boys on new adventures. But to everyone else, I was Mr. and Mrs. Plum's insane daughter who had a death wish. Sadly their opinions haven't changed. And sometimes I agree with them.

I'm a bail enforcement agent or in less fancy terms, a bounty hunter. My job is to escort the criminals who have failed to appear in court (FTA's) back to jail or court. But it's never as easy as it sounds. I am possibly the worst bounty hunter in the world, aside from my sometimes partner Lula. Fortunately I happen to be extremely lucky and I always end up catching my man. On certain instances my job feels rewarding, like when I manage to capture a FTA and put him safely behind bars. But those instances are rare and the real reason I keep my job is because I can wear jeans instead of a panty hose. For that I feel pretty grateful.

Although, today is not one of those days where I feel grateful. Today I am wondering why I ever blackmailed my cousin Vinnie into giving me this job. Then I remembered. I needed rent money badly. And today I need more which is why I am standing in front of Connie's desk praying that she has some FTA's for me to bring in. Preferably ones who won't shoot at me or attack me with a tire iron.

"I only have one for you today and it doesn't pay that much," Connie handed me the file, "name's Steve Mueller and he's convicted of carrying concealed."

I quickly scanned through the file and studied his photograph. He was about 6'2, 200 pounds of pure muscle, brown hair, blue eyes, and had a cleft chin. He used to be in the army until he was discharged three years a go. Since I needed the money I didn't have much choice. I hoped it was just a simple misunderstanding and he would be co-operative. I mean the guy could rip me in half!

Taking the file with me, I walked out of the office and got into my new used Honda Civic, which I bought the insurance money I had finally received from my last car. Lula wasn't in the office when I arrived so I was on my own. In a weird way I missed her. Going after an FTA without Lula didn't seem right. I almost felt lonely.

After shaking my head to clear my thoughts I checked the address given. Mueller lived at 32 Clarke Street which was just on the outskirts of the Burg. I drove down Wilson Road and turned on Church Street. Church Street took me straight took Clarke Street. I cruised down Clarke until I found the right address. A black Ford truck was parked in the driveway, indicating he was home. My intuition gave me a bad feeling about this place but the desire for rent money pulled me out of my car and up the driveway to his front door. I debated ringing the doorbell. After all I had bad experience with men like him in the past. But I didn't want others to think I was a big chicken bounty hunter, even though I was. I had a reputation to uphold.

"Mr. Mueller," I banged on the door, "My name is Stephanie Plum and I'm here to tell you that you forgot your court date. I need you to come with me so we can reschedule." I have used that line over a hundred times. It's never worked once. But usually there's a reaction. This was not the case at Mueller's house. No one answered my calls. While I waited for a response I took a good look at the neighborhood. One thing you can always count on in Trenton is nosy neighbors. Strangely enough, I didn't see one. Not even an old couple sitting on their front porch or someone peeking through the living room windows. It was like a ghost town and a strange chill ran through me.

"Mr. Mueller!" I cried impatiently, banging loudly on his door. I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. Something wasn't right here. I finally turned to leave when I heard yelling coming from inside.

"Mr. Mueller?" I knocked again. The yelling continued and I was ignored. I walked over to the living room window to see if I could see what the commotion was about.

Peering through the glass, I saw two men arguing. Both were pushing the other around. One, I noted, was the same height and weight as Mueller. I watched in amazement as the fighting grew more physical.

I wanted to move or at least look away, but it was like watching a car crash. I continued to stare as the man I suspected was Mueller pull a gun out of his belt and aim it at the other man. An earsplitting bang occurred and Mueller's opponent dropped to the floor dead. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped opened in shock. I kept telling myself to leave, fast, but my legs stayed cemented to the ground.

Mueller looked at the dead man with no reaction on his face. A sick smile spread on his face and his eyes shone with delight in what he had committed. I was truly terrified. His sight turned away from his victim to the window and in that spilt second I knew I was doomed. The smile slide off his face. Before I could register what was happening he whipped out his gun once more. The spell of the disturbing scene had finally ended and I fled as fast as I could. Gun shots rang out and I ran even faster to my car. Once inside my hands shook as I put the keys into the ignition and my foot on the gas. Mueller appeared outside the house and was taking shots at my car. One bullet hit my backseat window and another hit my rearview mirror. Pushing the exhilarator as far down as it could go, I peeled out of there. I had just narrowly escaped with my life.

Chapter 2: 

Five minutes later, when my heartbeat had finally slowed down enough so I wouldn't go into cardiac arrest, I was faced with a problem. I wasn't sure where to go. I thought about returning to my apartment, but the persistent voice in my head kept nagging me to tell someone. On the other hand, I didn't want to go to the police. I had experienced enough cop humor in my life and I didn't want to face the new batch of jokes they had cooking up for me. Sighing, I knew I had only one other option and it came in the form of Joe Morelli, cop extraordinaire. He was bound to find out sooner or later and the way I saw it he was used to my outrageous stories. He'd probably be flattered that I had come to him first. With these and more reasonings in my head I made an illegal U-turn and followed the familiar route to his house. I eventually wound up on his driveway.

Grimacing inwardly, I dragged my feet up to his doorstep and rang the bell. Morelli opened the door with a grin on his face but it turned into a hard line when he saw the state I was in.

"I'm not going to like what comes out of your mouth next am I?" he asked unhappily, already knowing. I nodded.

We walked over to the kitchen where I immediately plopped down into a kitchen chair and proceeded in telling him what I had witnessed. After I finished, Morelli walked over to the cupboards and got out a pink bottle. He then sank into the chair next to me, unscrewed the cap off. He took a swing.

"Pepto Bismol," Morelli answered my curious stare, "you have me drinking it the case full!"

"It's not my fault!"

"Cupcake it's never your fault and yet these things happen to you on a regular basis! Why can't I have a normal girlfriend who doesn't find dead bodies, witnesses murders and blows up cars?"

"You sound like my mother."

"Can you blame me? You're a walking disaster! You destroy everything in your path!"

"I don't ask for theses things to happen! They just do!"

"If you had another job theses things wouldn't happen!"

We both glared at each across the kitchen table. Our fights always come back to my work of choice. Joe wanted me to work at the button factory or become a housewife. I always defended my job. So what if I got shot at, blew up cars and became the most feared but laughed at woman in Trenton. My job was exciting, or at least had its moments. And returning to the idea of becoming a housewife, there was no way in hell. I can barely take care of myself!

"Cupcake," Morelli heaved a sigh after our very intense staring contest, "I care about you and I don't like it when these things happen. I worry, a lot when it comes to your safety." I felt my face soften.

"I better get home," I arose from my seat. Things were winding down and it was a bit uncomfortable. Joe jumped up.

"Why don't you spend the night here? I mean you look pretty rattled still." He was right, but I knew where things would lead. I shook my head.

"Come on, I'd make it worth your while," Morelli said smiling slyly. I'd come to know that tone of voice and that smile very well over the course of my lifetime. It still had the same affect on me. I felt the familiar wave of heat wash over me.

"Sorry, but I really do have to go home. Anyways, all my stuff is over there."

"Cupcake, we can deal with that tomorrow." Another sly smile. Lord help me.

"I have to feed Rex."

"Always second to a hamster," Morelli sighed defeated.

"Goodnight Joe," I quickly said. I didn't know how long my self restraint would last, and I didn't want to test it.

"Goodnight Steph."

And with that and walked out the door and got into my car. I was partly glad that I could resist Morelli, but partly sad that I'd be sleeping alone tonight. I glanced at the rearview mirror that had survived the shooting. Eek! No wonder he grimaced when he saw me. My hair was a ball of frizz and my eyes had dark bags under them. Moaning to myself I started the car and drove home.

Normally, once inside the building I would have debated the stairs versus the elevator, but I wanted the fastest route to my apartment. The stairs took too long and they were too open. I didn't want to give anyone out there easy access to me. This whole thing with Mueller really had me frightened.

"Going up?" Mrs. Bestler asked. When ever Mrs. Bestler got bored she played elevator operator. "Ladies dresses, designer shoes and handbags second floor."

I left the elevator and scurried into my apartment. Once inside and safely locked in I allowed myself the pleasure of a sigh. Now that my fear had been reduced to a small pit in my stomach I realized how hungry I was. After giving Rex a grape I peered into my refrigerator. I grabbed some worthless white bread and slapped on some peanut butter and olives. Food for champions.

"This is the life Rex." I told him. Although, by now Rex had returned to his soup can leaving me to talk to myself.

With nothing better to do I sank into my couch and watched three hours of mindless television. Satisfied that I had turned my brain into mush I collapsed into bed. Being shot at really tires a person out. I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

I awoke with a start. Loud creaking was coming from the fire escape. I quickly glanced at my clock. It was only 2 a.m. The noise suddenly stopped and I sat up frozen in my bed. My heart was banging out of my chest.

Bang! A bullet had just narrowly missed my shoulder by mere inches. I sprung from my paralyzed state and rolled out of bed. Shrieking I ran towards the door. My gunman chased after me. I was still screaming when my fingers flew as they unlocked my door. I ran out into the hall where I found Mr. Wolesky with a gun in his hand.

"Call the police! Call the police!" I shrieked hysterically. Mueller appeared out of the apartment eyes crazy and a gun in his hand. I was the only one without a weapon.

Bang! Mr. Wolesky fired his gun at Mueller. He had missed by a foot but it was enough to scare Mueller. He ran back into my apartment and disappeared. Five minutes later I was outside the building telling the police what had happened.

"Morelli's going to be thrilled. You should see what you've got him drinking." Costanza, a cop I had become friendly with since I had become a bounty hunter. He and his partner Big Dog always got a kick out of my misadventures.

"He's drinking? What's he drinking?"

"Pepto Bismol. He keeps loads of bottles in his desk. Cracks a new one open every time you're mentioned." The other cops started laughing. Great. I was sorry I'd asked.

"Speak of the devil," Big Dog said looking over at Morelli, who had just gotten out of his truck and was walking over. Uh oh.

"Why me?" Morelli whined as he approached. He sounded exactly like my mother. I thought of telling him it wasn't my fault but his look said, don't even bother.

"So Mueller was having a party on your fire escape I hear. God, how do you find these people? I mean you only met him today and he's already tried to kill you twice!"

"He's insane! And I don't ask to meet these people I just do!"

"Cupcake, that's not natural!"

Although I felt like shooting him, he was right. It wasn't natural. I've lost count of all the strange occurrences that have happened to me the last few years. I felt even lower and my bottom lip started to tremble.

"Cupcake, it's all right." Morelli pulled me into his arms after noticing my distress. Lord, please don't let me cry in front of Morelli and his cop friends. Bad enough I'm already the butt of their jokes. I'll never live it down.

"I should go back in," I said after I regained my composure. The crowd of cops and curious bystanders had thinned.

"You're coming over to my house tonight Cupcake." For once I didn't object. I didn't want to be alone after all this. After grabbing the necessities from my apartment and Rex's cage, I climbed into Morelli's truck and off we went. Thank God for Morelli.

Chapter 3:

My adrenaline had slackened by the time we arrived. I felt dead tired. Morelli had to drag me out of his car and into the house. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep while Morelli was unlocking his door.

The next morning I woke up on the couch. I guess Morelli got tired of dragging me half way to bed and left me on the couch. I walked over to the kitchen where Morelli was sitting at the table drinking coffee.

"Morning," I said. Morelli looked up.

"Morning Cupcake."

I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured myself a cup of coffee.

"I bought doughnuts," Morelli pointed to the box lying on the table. My hero.

"Yum," I said after taking a bite. I could get used to this. Morelli smiled and we both dug in.

"So what are you going to do today?" Morelli asked after we finished our breakfast. His tone was too casual and I knew something was up. This was a familiar route.

"Well, I was going to have a shower and then go down to the office to see if they have anymore FTA's for me to bring in." Just because I had been shot at twice in one day didn't mean I could stop working. I needed rent money.

"What if you stayed here and watched television and read and rest instead?"

"Will you be here with me?"

"No, I've got to go to work."

"And so do I."

"Stephanie there's a man out there trying to kill you! And you still want to go to work and find him?"

"Yes, I realize that Joe," I said coldly, "That there's someone out there who's upset with me but I have a job to do and I need to see if any other FTA's came in."

"He's more than upset with you! He wants to murder you! And you act like you're not even worried!"

I was worried. I was more than worried. But the idea of me sitting in this house for a whole day not doing enough drove me wild. There was an uncomfortable silence between us.

"Look Joe, I'm going to work today. I'll be careful. And I won't be alone. Lula will be there with me."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"No one will mess with Lula and me." This wasn't true. When I'm with Lula disaster always strikes.

"You and Lula are magnets for trouble. You'll probably be in more danger with her than if you went out alone!"

"That's not true! Look Joe I'm going to work and you can't stop me."

This made Morelli mad. Three times more mad than he already was at me.

"I am going to handcuff you and the shower pole and lock the door." He wasn't kidding either. He had already done this to me before.

"If you even come near me with handcuffs I will leave so fast your head will spin. And I can promise you I won't return!" I felt like leaving him right now. But I would come back. I always came back.

"You're impossible! Lot's of women are happy to stay at home! You on the other hand would rather be shot at than spend a couple of hours doing nothing!" Morelli looked at the kitchen clock. "Great! And now I'm late! You go ahead and go to work! Just don't come crawling to me when there's a bullet lodged in you!"

"Fine! I won't! Just go already! Nothing is keeping you here!"

"You can say that again," Morelli muttered. He grabbed his jacket off the keys and slammed the door. I watched his truck pull out of the driveway from the living room window. I was still burning mad at his comment, but I was sad because this morning went so badly and now he probably hated me. Damn Morelli. The last thing I wanted was him to be mad at me.

I looked at the clock. Now I was running late. I took the world records fastest shower, pulled my still wet hair into a half-assed ponytail and took off. I was still cursing Morelli when I arrived at the office.

"Uh oh, I know that look. And that look spells trouble." Connie said as I walked into the office. So I did look as I felt. Like a crazed beast.

"Dang, girl," Lula said.

"Where were you yesterday?" I turned to Lula. I was feeling very bitter this morning and talking to Lula and Connie wasn't making things better.

"I was sick. I ate a bad bean burrito." Okay, sorry I asked. "But what's with this thing with Mueller? Dang, if I had been there none of that shit would have happened. Nobody messes with Lula. I would have popped one in his ass." In reality, Lula would have been running away even faster than me.

"Connie is there any new FTA's?" I asked turning me head from Lula.

"Yep! Michael Barroni. He got caught dealing."

"Shouldn't Ranger have him?" I don't usually get the drug dealers.

"No he's not dangerous. And Ranger doesn't take anything under 10 grand."

"Wait, you said Michael Barroni? Mickey B?" Lula asked.

"You know him?"

"Hell yeah! I saw him on Starke Street all the time. He was a customer of Jackie's. Used to sell to the kiddies."

"What did he sell?"

"Weed. He was scum." Connie and I nodded.

"So you know his hangouts?"

"Yeah, just check out the elementary schools near Starke Street. He'll be there selling to the kids at recess."

"Come on," I grabbed his file and we walked out of the office.

"You finally got rid of ole Big Blue then hunh?"

"Yes, my insurance money finally came in."

"About damn time." I couldn't agree more.

"So what schools does he usually sell to?" I asked Lula as we turned down Starke Street. She gave me the list. The first three were duds. When we arrived to the fourth it was lunch recess.

"I see him! Down by the fence!" Lula jumped up and down in excitement, testing my cars shocks. We both got out of the car and walked over. A group of rough looking kids stood on the other side of the fence.

"Damn Skippy," Lula said as we approached. "Look at 'em." The kids looked over at us. Probably wondered what the hell was going on.

"Michael Barroni? My name is Stephanie Plum and I'm here to remind you that you forgot your court date. I'm here to escort you back so we can reschedule."

"I'm not going any where with you! Who do you take me for…?" He looked over at Lula. "Lula? How's it been? I haven't seen you in awhile. You just disappeared!" He looked back at me. "Ah, she picked you up too?"

It wasn't difficult to still picture Lula as a hooker. Even though her job and attitude had changed, her wardrobe didn't. Today she was clad in hot pink spandex pants and a yellow sequined shirt that had _hot_ written on it. He hair colour matched her shirt.

"No. I got a new job now and that job is to take your ass back to jail."

"You can't be serious can you? I mean come on Lula. We're friends."

"We're not friends! We never have been."

"Now if you could please follow us back to the car," I said while slapping a cuff on his wrist. He pulled back his arm and tried to take off. I caught him in a tackle. We both landed on the ground, hard. He tried to get up but I wrestled him down. We both tried unsuccessfully to hurt each other. Are arms and legs were flailing around, hardly making contact were we wanted them to go. I dug my nails in his arm and he kicked me in the shin.

The kids were yelling and calling Lula and I every name in the book but I hardly noticed. I was starting to lose the fight. He was rising to get up when Lula swung her purse out of nowhere and hit him square in the face. He fell to the ground with a thud. Lula clasped the other cuff on his remaining wrist.

"Why didn't you do that earlier?" I asked out of breath.

"You looked like you were winning and I didn't want to take the fun away from you."

"Hunh, well help me get him up." The kids were still booing at us. Where was a teacher when you need one? Lula and I dragged him to the backset of the car. He started to struggle and Lula hit him again.

"What did you do that for? You're not supposed to do that!"

"It was an accident! Besides, you hit him too. And he was starting to fight back. I did us favor." I couldn't argue with her so I shrugged it off and we loaded him into the backseat.

"We are taking you back to the police station now." I said to him. He just stared at his feet pouting.

We were about three blocks away from the police station when I noticed a black truck pull in behind us.

"Could he be any closer to your bumper?" Lula stated. I looked back. Our cars were so close they were almost touching. I drove faster but the car stayed the same distance away. I looked back at the truck. It seemed vaguely familiar. I was getting worried so I sped up. The truck stayed right on my tail. I realized where I had seen that truck. It was the on sitting in Steve Mueller's driveway. By this time I gunned it. Mueller followed right behind. Gunshots rang out. Two of the bullets had gone straight through my back shield and through the front.

"Jesus Christ!" Barroni yelled aloud.

"Everyone duck down!" I screamed. Lula and Barroni were already way ahead of me.

"God don't let me die today with my hair like this!" I heard Lula say. I swerved through traffic hoping to lose Mueller. He swerved too, trying to get closer. I was only a few blocks away from the police station, so I kept my foot on the pedal and pushed it to the floor. Mueller was doing the same. A red light was up ahead but I couldn't slow down. I prayed to God that I wouldn't get us killed in a collision. But at the same time I wasn't going to let Mueller take shots at us. Keeping my eyes closed, I past through the red light. Several horns blared. I reopened my eyes to find that we had past safely through the lights and no cars were affected. In the rearview mirror I watched Mueller try to do the same thing. He wasn't so lucky. Mueller collided with a little red convertible. Not wanting to stick around, I didn't take my foot from the pedal until we reached the police station. That was too close.

"Are we alive?" Barroni asked, dazed from the backseat.

"Yes you idiot!" Lula responded her voice high and shrill. She then closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Come on, let's go return Barroni." I said to Lula after we had had a minute to breathe.


	2. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I forgot to do this at the beginning. Most of the characters are Janet Evanovich's creation and are not my own. Only a few are. My first story on fanfiction so please review! I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 4:

When I looked at the backseat, Barroni was missing.

"Shit!" I shrieked.

"What?" Lula asked startled.

"The bastard disappeared!"

"Yeah, maybe we should have kept a better eye on him."

"Fuck!" I cried exasperated.

I jumped out of the car and looked around. He was nowhere to be seen. With no other option, I wandered into the station to see if anyone had seen Barroni. I almost fainted when I saw him sitting on a bench near the receptionist's desk. Barroni shuddered when he saw me.

"Get away from me!" he screamed. Everyone in the room turned and stared at the scene unfolding.

"What…?"

"You need to be locked away! You're crazy! You almost got me killed! Someone, anyone get her away from me! Help! Help!"

I was too dumbfounded to do anything but stand there as he tried to get as far as he possibly could away from me. He continued to scream.

"What the hell is going on?" Costanza burst into the room. He looked back and forth at me and Barroni. He started to laugh.

"Should have known in was you. Only you can terrify someone that much. Come on," he said to Barroni. "Let's go. I'll get you away from her."

"Thank-you," Barroni cried. I watched as Costanza led Barroni to another room. Everyone was still watching me. My face as red as a lobster, I quickly fled back to the car where Lula was waiting.

"Did anyone see him?" Lula asked as we drove away.

"Um," I said, embarrassed to go on, "he was in the station."

"Get out!"

"No he was there."

"Dang, that doesn't happen every day. An FTA actually turned himself in. Hmm,"

"Well actually, I think I know why he turned himself in."

"Get out! Why?"

"He might have been just a little scared of me and decided the safest place for him was jail."

"Get out! Dang, don't that just beat all. You know, that's actually a good thing. Gives you a good rep. Keep this up and you'll be in the same league as Ranger."

No one is in the same league as Ranger. Ranger has abilities no normal person has. No one comes close to Ranger. I stared at Lula.

"Well maybe not in the same league, but a higher one." Perhaps Lula had a point. I mean we have been doing the same job for a couple years now. We must be getting some what better. I drove back to the office with a smile on my face. I had almost forgotten about Mueller.

When we arrived I parked in the back. Sadly this is not the first time I have taken this precaution for almost the same reason. On both accounts I had psychotic killers after me. My smile had now turned to a frown when I thought about all the people I have met in my life who have tried to kill me. Normal people worry about rent or mortgages, their families and/or rising taxes. I worry about being killed by the crazy people I attempt to bring in. The verdict was I definitely needed a new job.

Lula and I both walked into the office. I handed Connie my receipt and she wrote me a check. I hadn't made that much money off of Barroni, but I had made enough to pay rent. It didn't quite make up for the day's events, but I still felt pretty decent. In all honesty, it was a pretty easy capture, up until Mueller started shooting at us. It had gone all downhill from there.

"So are you guys finished for the day? Because, Lula," Connie voice held a hint of impatience, "there's a mountain of paperwork that needs to be filed." There were stacks of papers on Connie's desk that were dangerously high.

"Yeah, I guess I could do that. Depending if you have any new FTA's for me and Stephanie to bring in." Connie shook her head.

I got up and leapt for the door before Lula could recruit me into helping her file. Not paying attention, I crashed into a figure standing at the doorway. Judging from the delicious scent and the way he didn't budge when I walked into him, I knew there was only one possibility of who this could be.

"Babe," Ranger said. I must have looked embarrassed because the corners of his lips turned up in an almost smile. He handed Connie a receipt and she wrote him a check. Ranger turned back to me and said, "I need to talk to you outside."

I followed him out the door and looked back at Connie and Lula. They were fanning their faces with their hands.

"So-o-o what is it that you want to talk to me about?" I asked, knowing very clearly it was about Mueller.

"Babe, you shouldn't encourage people to shoot at you."

"It wasn't my fault! He's a nutcase!"

"Babe he's already tried to kill you three times already."

"I know! Do you think I like being shot at! Do you think I find it fun to have lunatics after me!" My voice was shrill and my eyes started to water.

"Babe," Ranger pulled me close to him and kissed me on the lips. It was the type of kiss that made your toes curls and your knees buckle. No tongue but still was hotter than hell and very suggestive. He finally released me.

"Babe, you know there is a safer place than Morelli's." Safer from Mueller, yes. Safer from Ranger an guilt, absolutely not.

"I know, but it's not a good idea,"

"If it was a good idea you'd be there right now." He looked into my eyes. "Babe,"

Then he walked off and I stood there stupidly and watched him drive off in his Porsche Turbo. Oh Lordy.

Sighing to myself, I got into my car and drove off. Halfway to Morelli's I felt the vibration of my cell phone.

"Hello? Stephanie it's your mother," As if I needed the reminder. "We're having a nice leg of lamb tonight and I wanted to know if you are coming over for dinner."

"Morelli and I were thinking of going out for dinner," I fibbed.

"Pineapple upside-down cake for dessert." Be still my heart.

"We'll be there at six." I hung up and drove the rest of the way to Morelli's.

He was already there when I walked in.

"Hey." I said. Morelli walked over to me and kissed me. Another mouthwatering, toe curling kiss. I was doing well today.

"So do you want to order in?" Morelli asked as we broke away.

"I kind of promised my Mom we'd have dinner over there."

Morelli sighed, "Why'd you do that?"

"Well she's my mother and there's also pineapple upside-down cake for dessert."

"You can never refuse cake can you?"

"It's not any cake! It's pineapple upside-down cake!"

"Okay, okay," Morelli laughed. He knows how much I love cake. And pineapple upside-down cake was the mother of all cakes. We grabbed our things and headed out the door. About ten minutes later we arrived and my mother and grandmother were waiting on the porch. My mother did not look happy, at all.

"I hear that you've been shot at three times in the last two days. I hear you're being chased by a lunatic. Tell me this isn't true."

"No, it's true." I admitted shamefully. My mother did the sign of the cross. I could read her face like a book. It said, why me. I should be asking the same.

My mother walked inside. My grandma swooped in on me and Morelli.

"So did you shoot back? Did you run him down? Ethel Whitefield told me he was shooting at you in the middle of the street!" My grandma was toppling over in excitement.

"No I didn't shoot back or run him down." I told her.

"If it had been me I would have shot him down or ran him over. He would have known whose boss. No one messes with me." Morelli looked at my grandma. He was trying not to laugh, but he also looked pained at the thought of my grandmother running people down and shooting at them. We all went inside and sat down at the table. My dad was already sitting at the head in his usual stupor.

My mother put the food on the table and everyone watched my father take the first piece of lamb. Everyone was silent as food was passed around.

"I see you have a new car." My mother said.

"Yeah, my insurance money finally came in."

"What kind of car?" My father mumbled from the head of the table.

"Honda Civic." My father grunted in disgust. My father only considers American cars real cars. Everything else is garbage.

"Is it new?" My grandmother asked, "I was thinking of buying a new car. I miss my old corvette. I felt real young and sexy in that 'vette."

"Since when can you afford a new car? All you get is social insurance?" My father asked.

"I have some money saved away from when I sold the house and I've been saving my money for a car. I want something red or black. Maybe like that car your friend had when he came over that one time. The big fellow."

Morelli glared at me. He knew who that "big fellow" was. I tried my best to look innocent but Morelli wasn't buying.

"My car was previously owned." In other words used. But it seemed nicer to say it that way. "You should check out a dealership that sells used cars. They're cheaper and you'll probably be able to find a sports car."

"Sounds like a good idea."

"Wait a minute!" My mother spoke up. "Mother you don't have a license and you can't drive. And Stephanie," my mother turned to me, "you shouldn't encourage her!"

"I can drive if I want to! It comes with being in the AARP."

"No it doesn't." my dad said.

"Well it should! I have a right to drive!"

My father grunted and my mom shot him an evil look. No one said anything. I loved my grandma a whole lot but I don't want her in the road. She's a danger to society when she's behind a wheel.

Everyone finished eating and my grandma helped herself to a glass of wine. It was finally time for dessert. While eating my cake I thought to myself, this has gone pretty good. I started to relax when my grandma pulled my shoulder bag out from under my chair. Everyone watched in fear as she rummaged through it.

"What is this?" She asked pulling out a can of pepper spray, "It looks like hair spray. And it's got a nozzle sort of like it." She then pressed it down and sprayed herself in the eye. She started to shriek and scream as her eyes watered. Joe and I sat there in shock with our mouths hanging open. My mother rushed to her aid.

"Oh my God! What is this! Stephanie help her! Why do you carry such a thing!" My mother's temper rose. Joe and I got up and carried my grandmother to the kitchen sink. We helped her wash her eyes out with water.

A few minutes later grandma was okay and Joe, my mother, and I walked back into the dining room. My father was still sitting at the head of the table shaking with laughter. My mother through him the dirtiest Plum stare, but my father didn't stop. He would pay for that tonight. But seeing things from my dad's point of view, it was pretty funny. My grandma drives my dad nuts with her antics. She's even stun gunned him once. So I guess in a way it was payback. Joe and I started to chuckle too, but my mother turned to us and gave us the glare. We immediately stopped laughing. After gathering our things we raced out of there.

Our laughter started again once in a safe distance away from my mom. As we sat in the car our laughter grew. Eventually we quieted down.

"Do you hear that?" Joe asked me. There was a strange ticking noise coming from the car.

"What is that?" I asked. We both looked around the front and backseat of the car and then we both realized what that sound was. Racing from the car as fast as we could we rushed onto the street.

BOOM! The car was engulfed in flames and its parts were scattered across the front lawn.

"Shit! I had just gotten that!" I whined. Joe just stood there watching the flames.

"What the…?" My mother, father and grandmother emerged from the house. After taking one look at her front lawn, my mother fainted. My father just barely caught her. My grandmother on the other hand looked overjoyed.

"Wait till I tell the girls at the beauty parlor about this!" She said excitedly. My father handled the situation a little better than my mother, who was just rising up from her fall. But he was still horrified.

"Well, I better call the fire station." My grandma said walking back into the house. Joe and I looked at each other and groaned. Another one of Stephanie Plum's misfortunes. My parent's continued to stare blankly at the yard. I was going to be banned from pineapple upside-down cake forever.


	3. Chapter 3 5

Disclaimer: Sorry it's a short chapter. I hope to get chapter 3/6 in as soon as possible. But I might take a little while so bare with me. Thanks for the reviews! Keep sending them in!

Chapter 5:

The police and firemen arrived quickly to the scene. My family, Joe and I watched from my parent's living room window as the firemen hosed my former car down. It was quite a spectacle. I don't think I'd ever seen my parents so pissed off or my grandma so elated. The Plum family wasn't one for emotion, but after tonight that had definitely changed. Now I wasn't sure if I'd ever be invited to dinner again.

"It looks as if they've finished hosing everything down," Morelli said finally as we watched the firemen roll the hose up. Morelli and I stepped outside to give our statements.

After an exhausting hour of questioning me, Joe, and the rest of my family, we were told we could leave. Having no car I was left with one choice.

"I'm going to need to borrow the Big Blue." I told my parent's. My mom's eyebrows shot up and my dad looked pained. "Joe and I need to get back home."

"Can't you walk?" My dad asked in his usual grumble. My mom gave him a sharp look.

"Of course you can borrow the car." My mom said.

"Ellen…" My mother gave my dad another sharp look. He sighed and retrieved me the keys. Before I jumped into the car my dad pulled me aside. This was odd because my dad is a man of few words.

"Don't blow this one up okay?" He said. I assured him I wouldn't. And I wasn't lying. Nothing can destroy the Big Blue. At the end of the world the only thing left would be cockroaches and the Big Blue.

Joe and I drove home in silence. There wasn't much to say. Now that the shock had worn off I realized how much danger I had put my family in. It wasn't a pleasant feeling knowing that I put my family in serious harm. I stole a glance at Morelli. His face was expressionless. It was his cop face. I had put him in danger too. And staying here with Morelli was probably putting him in more danger. My stomach felt like an anchor had been dropped in it when I thought about thetrouble I was putting everyone in.

When we arrived home we knew something right away was wrong. There was a light left on in the kitchen, which we could see through the living room window. We cautiously entered the house. It looked as if a hurricane had run through it. Tables and chairs were overturned, shards of glass from dishes were scattered along the floor. Couch cushions had been ripped apart, the stuffing halfway out. Upstairs in the bedroom clothes were covering the floor and the dressers were all open. Every mirror in the whole house had been smashed and the beds had been tipped over. WWIII seemed to have broken out while we were at my parent's.

I looked at Morelli. You could feel the fury running through him, even though he appeared to be calm. He then started to swear, using the most inventive cussing I had ever heard. Lastly, he picked a chair off the floor and threw it across the room. He had lost his temper and had quickly transformed into the young Morelli, the one whose temper was uncontrollably wild. I stepped away from him.

Finally Morelli took a couple of deep breaths and calmed down. He was still upset, that much was clear, but he had regained control of his anger. I felt incredibly guilty. I had ruined his house and almost gotten him killed over the course of one day.

"I'm so, so sorry Joe." I apologized. I had never felt so low in my entire life.

"Cupcake, come here," he said pulling me into a bear hug. We stood there for what seemed like hours in the rubble that was left of Morelli's possessions. When we finally broke away, we began to clean the mess up. Four hours later there was still work to do, but we had mad a good size dent in the workload. Exhausted we both collapsed in bed. Rolling over to one side, I looked down to the floor where I spotted a piece of paper that I had missed while cleaning. Tiredly I picked it up and read it. I perked right up after reading the piece of paper. It was a letter. From Mueller.

The letter stated that I was doomed. He was going to kill me and anyone who got in his way. It listed all the ways how he could kill me and my friends and family. The letter was signed Your Grim Reaper.

"Mueller," I whispered to myself.

"Hunh?" Morelli stirred beside me. "What is it?"

I handed him the letter. While Morelli was reading it, I thought about my options. I couldn't stay here; Mueller knew this is where I was staying. I also couldn't go to my apartment or my parent's house because he had already attacked me at those places and would again if I returned. Ranger's voice rang through my head. Ranger's apartment is probably the world's safest place. Next to the bat cave.

"Jesus Christ," Morelli said after finishing the letter. I looked into his eyes. I couldn't put Joe is this kind of danger. It wasn't right.

"Joe," I began, "I think I should leave. At least for now. It's not safe for either of us if I stay."

Morelli's eyes went hard. "Where will you go? You can't go back to your apartment or your parent's so where do you plan to go?"

"I have a friend," I answered softly. We both knew who that friend was. Morelli looked totally pissed off.

"Look, we can handle this."

"But Joe, you know it's better if I leave. We'll both be safer if I go."

"What's wrong with staying here?"

"Nothing! It's just dangerous! It's not like I don't want to live with you, it's just not…safe."

"Oh I see, so it's safer to run away and hide with a guy you know nothing about! A guy who is known to kill people!"

"I know things about him Joe! And he only kills bad guys!"

"You don't know that! And besides you'll be fine here! I'll protect you!"

"How are you going to protect me? You're only one man Joe! And besides, you'll be at work during the day! How can you protect me when we're not together?"

"We'll figure out a way!"

"There isn't a way!"

"Yes there is! Only you never stick around long enough to find one! You always run away, doing the first thingthat comes to your head! You never think!"

"That's because there's nothing to think about! I can't stay Joe!"

"You always do this to me! You always run away!"

"Joe, why are you being so unreasonable? You know it's a bad idea if I stay! Why can't you understand!"

"So now I don't understand? I think you don't understand! Do you know what it's like when the person you love puts themselves in danger and won't let you help them! Do you know what it's like to constantly fear for that person's life? Why do you think I never got married? I didn't want someone to go through that! But instead you're the one putting me through that!"

I fell silent. There was nothing I could say because it was true what he said.

"Look, Stephanie, if you leave now, don't bother coming back because I won't be here for you. I can't do this anymore. So what's it going to be?"

I loved Morelli. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving him. And from the look in his eye I could tell he was serious. I wasn't ready to end this relationship.

Though every instinct fought against me, my heart won out. "Alright, Joe. I'll stay." He took a deep breath and smiled at me. I gave him small smile back. Joe pulled me close and held me in his arms. He instantly fell asleep. Before I succumbed to unconsciousness myself, I heard a voice in my head telling me this was a mistake. I then fell fast asleep.

The next morning we both woke up late. While Joe was in the shower, I made a cup of coffee. I was still thinking about the choice I had made. Me being here put Joe in danger put he wouldn't have it any other way. I'd have to talk to him again about it sometime, but as I watched Morelli walk into the kitchen I decided this wasn't it.

"Morning, Cupcake."

"Morning, Joe. There's coffee in the pot."

"Can't stay long, I'm already ten minutes late for work. Don't leave the house today, at all. If anything seems just the slightest bit wrong, phone me right away and I'll come get you. We'll think of something better later."

"Bye, Joe."

"Bye," Morelli downed his cup of coffee and gave me a quick kiss on the lips I watched him open the door. Before he stepped out he waved. Then he put his first foot out of the door.

BANG! Morelli went down like a sack of bricks. I screamed and screamed.


	4. Chapter 4 6

Here's the next chapter. I won't be able to write anything in a little while (with school and all). I hope you enjoy and keep the reviews coming!

Chapter 6:

I ran to Morelli's side. He was struggling to get up.

"Joe? Joe! Answer me please!" I was hysteric.

"Shh, I'm okay." He responded. I looked at where the bullet had struck him. He had been hit in the arm. I thanked God because my first thought was he was dead. I turned my eyes back to his face. I could see he was struggling with pain. I pulled him inside as fast as I could. Once satisfied where I had set him down, I called for an ambulance.

In the next couple of minutes the ambulance had arrived along with almost every cop in the Trenton police force. Everyone's face was grim. Morelli was a respected cop. Everyone was waiting anxiously to hear the report on his health. I gave the police as much details as I could. Even though I didn't see the shooter, I knew who it was. I wanted to murder Mueller for all the pain and trouble he had caused me in the past couple of days. First he tries to kill me, then blows up a car on my parent's driveway and then shoots Morelli. I knew the bullet was intended for me but that didn't make things any better. Something had to be done and the first thing I had to do was get my things and leave. I couldn't stay at Morelli's any longer.

"We're taking him to the hospital now," A paramedic told me after loading him into the vehicle.

"I'll follow behind you in my car. There's just one thing I have to do first."

The paramedic gave me a kind smile. I watched the ambulance drive away before heading inside the house. It was stupid but I was still inshock. Snapping out of my state I ran into the house and grabbed my things. I dropped Rex off at my parent's before I went to the hospital. Rex always needs company after a crisis.

The people at the hospital were nice and directed me to Morelli's room without question. I wasn't allowed in right away because he was in surgery. I sat in the waiting room for what seemed like an eternity until a doctor emerged from the room and walked over to me.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"Yes. He'll be fine. We'll keep him over night, but tomorrow he should be able to come home. He lost a lot of blood. But he's lucky the bullet missed his chest. Now that could have been fatal." I did a mental sign of the cross.

"When can I see him?"

"You can go in now, but he'll probably be asleep." I thanked the doctor and silently walked into the room. I was surprised to see Morelli lying there with his eyes open. He looked at me.

"I wanted to wait until after I saw you to fall asleep."

"Joe that wasn't necessary. You should rest."

"Nah, I'm fine. The damn doctor won't let me go home."

"Maybe it's for the best." I knew I had to tell him I was going elsewhere, but I was kind of hoping he'd be sleeping so he wouldn't object.

Joe shook his head. "Cupcake I'm fine. And I damn well mean it."

"Okay," I said. He smiled at me and reached out to hold my hand. We sat like that for awhile not saying a word. Morelli broke the silence.

"Well you can't stay at the house tonight, that's for sure," A surge of hope went through me. Maybe telling him I was going over to Ranger's would be easier then I thought. Hell, maybe he'd even suggest it.

"I can probably get the hospital to let you stay here overnight. Tomorrow we can go back home."

Never mind. "Joe that's ridiculous! Tomorrow you'll be weak and you won't be able to protect me. I can't put you in anymore danger."

"Jesus Christ Stephanie! Where are you going to go?" We both knew the answer to that question.

"Joe don't get upset."

"Don't get upset? I can't believe you! Stephanie like I said before if you leave don't bother coming back. And I mean it." My heart felt as if it were being squeezed with a fist. Morelli's fist, to be exact. I wanted to be with Morelli so badly, but the thought of putting him in even more danger hurt me more then him leaving me. At leastthis wayhe wouldn't be dead.

"Joe, don't do this."

"Stephanie,"

"You know the answer. I can't hurt you like this anymore."

"Steph…"

"I'm sorry, Morelli but you know this is the only option."

"It's not the only option!"

"The only reasonable one."

"Fine then! You've made you're choice! Leave! Just leave!" I quickly left the room. My eyes stung with tears and I heard him yell from the room, "Don't bother coming back".

I ran out of the hospital as fast as humanly possible. By now I had lost control of my emotions and I sobbed hysterically. We're not over, I told myself, we just need a break. Although I knew in my heart Morelli and mine relationship was over unless I stopped seeing "my friend the big fellow" Ranger. But I needed Ranger. I needed the protection he could give me, even though it would be awkward.

While driving around in a daze I thought about my relationship with both men. Both of them scared the hell out of me. But I understood Morelli better. Ranger was a mystery. I thunked my head on the wheel. Why did I have to be such a dope when it comes to men?

Realization finally brought me back to my senses. Mueller had already attacked while I had been driving. The safest option was for me to get off the road and go to someplace safe. I dialed Ranger's cell and left an urgent message telling him I'd accepted his offer and needed him to call me as soon as possible. With that out of the way, I needed someplace to go where I could hide in a crowd of people. That was an easy problem to solve. I made an illegal u-turn and headed straight to the mall.

While chowing down on a Big Mac and fries, I felt my cell phone vibrate.

"Hello?"

"Yo,"

"So you got my message?"

"Yeah. Where are you?"

"I'm at the shopping center. When can I head over to your place?"

"I'll pick you up."

"Oh, okay then. But I have to drop off the car. Why don't you pick me up at my parents then?"

"Fine."

Ranger disconnected. Our telephone conversations were always short and somehow always left me hanging. Shoving the last remains of the fries in my mouth I got up and headed to the parking lot.

When I arrive to the car I half expected it to be blown to smithereens orsee a shady figure in the backseat. But this was the Big Blue. Nothing ever happens to the Big Blue.

I jumped into the car and headed home. Once there I parked the Big Blue into the garage. Afraid that my parent would turn me away at the door, I waited at the curb for Ranger.

"Stephanie? Is that you?" I heard my mother's voice call from the door. Uh oh. I was busted.

"Yeah, I'm just waiting for a friend to pick me up. I returned dad's car."

"Oh, well you could have kept it longer. Why don't you come in for some coffee and wait for your friend inside?"

It was nice to know my family still allowed me in the house but I didn't want to lose that privilege if they saw Ranger. They've had their share of scary men over the past couple of days.

"It's all right. I can wait here."

"I'd much prefer it if you came inside. What will the neighbors think? And you'd be much safer in here."

Before my mom and I could really argue, Ranger's Mercedes pulled up in front of me.

"Well he's here. I better go. I'll see you soon. Bye Mom." My mother hardly heard me, for she was gaping at the Ranger's car. I quickly got into the passenger seat.

"Babe," I looked over at Ranger. He was dressed in full SWAT gear. He was wearing black cargo pants, a black t-shirt, black boots, and a black jacket, which I knew he wore to cover his many guns.

"Hey," I said. "So I guess you know why I phoned you already hunh?"

Ranger nodded his head ever so slightly indicating he knew.

"So I was thinking I'd stay in the fourth floor apartment you know. That way I'd stay out of your way." That wasn't the reason I didn't want to stay in Ranger's seventh floor apartment. I didn't want to tempt myself. No temptation, no guilt. Even though Morelli and I were on an off-stage (at least that's what I hoped it was), I still had feelings.

"Babe, the fourth floor's in use."

"What?" What!

"Yeah, a friend of mine needed a place to stay."

Oh God help me.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 7

The rest of the car ride we were both silent. In my head I was freaking out. What would happen between Ranger and me during my time spent at his apartment? And if anything did happen Morelli would never take me back. I stole a look at Ranger. God he was gorgeous. I shook my head. No nothing would happen. We're merely just friends. Yeah right.

"So when do you think you're friend will be leaving?" I asked. Ranger turned his head to me. The corners of his lips turned into an all knowing smile. I blushed and turned my head concentrating on the houses we were passing. At last we turned into his apartment building. Ranger parked the car and we walked inside the elevator. I watched the numbers rise as we passed the different levels. I was doomed.

Ranger unlocked his car and we both walked into his apartment.

"Well, I'm exhausted," I quipped. I was eager to avoid him, which really meant I was hiding from temptation. "Goodnight."

"I take it you want to sleep on the couch."

"The couch is perfect!" I squeaked. Ranger retrieved me some blankets and set up my bed. After he was done, he pulled me into his arm and kissed me. I felt like I burning up and I would soon only be a pile of ash on the floor. Finally he let go.

"I'm going to have a shower." Ranger announced. He then walked away and disappeared into the bedroom. I still stood there with my mouth open like an idiot. Why did he have to be so damn hot?

Sighing I crawled into bed. I could here the sound of the shower running. I would go to hell for the images in my mind of Ranger in the shower. I moaned loudly. Staying true to Morelli was going to be a challenge.

I woke up the next morning without knowing where I was. Realization hit when I saw Ranger carrying me a plate of food.

"Oatmeal?" I said staring at the plate. Ranger nodded. I took the plate and ate a spoonful. I shuddered.

"What kind of oatmeal is this?"

"All natural. No sugar."

Figures. But my stomach was growling loudly so I continued to shovel it in my mouth. The taste did not improve.

"What are you going to do today?" Ranger asked me once we both had finished.

"Go to the office to see if there is any more FTA's to bring in." Ranger nodded. I began to feel uncomfortable sitting so close to him.

"Can I have a shower?" Ranger nodded. I scurried into the bathroom. By the time I was thoroughly clean and smelling like Bulgari, I stepped back into the living room. Ranger was gone and there was a note and a set of keys on the counter. The note read, "Needed truck. Here are keys to the Porsche." I tried not to topple over with excitement.

I used the other key on the key ring to lock the apartment. Once inside the garage I climbed into the Porsche feeling extremely cool. Connie and Lula were going to lose it when they saw my riding in this.

I cruised over to the office. As I expected Connie and Lula were out of their seats staring at me. I grinned.

"Girl you are the shit!" Lula squealed as I walked into the office.

"I don't know how you do it." Connie shook her head in disbelief. Neither did I. A second later Vinnie came storming out of his office and glared at me.

"I suppose you haven't found Mueller yet? Christ I have three days till I have to give over the money! Why aren't you chasing him instead of hanging around here?"

"He tried to kill me three times! He shot Morelli! I'm not looking for him anymore!"

"So? You're just going to give up?"

"Just give it to someone else!"

"Grr…" Vinnie growled and marched back into his office slamming the door behind him.

"Don't give her any new FTA's until she finds him!" He yelled from his office. Lula, Connie, and I rolled our eyes.

"So who else is there?" I asked.

"Well, let me see," Connie rummaged through the stack her desk. "Oh here's one you'll like. Mooner needs to be brought in. He probably just forgot his court date, again."

Without even bothering with the file I drove over to Mooner's place and knocked on the door. I walked up his driveway and pounded on the door.

A couple seconds later he opened he's door and stared at me.

"Shit," he said registering slowly. I forgot my court date!" I nodded with a smile.

"Come on, I'll take you to reschedule."

"Thanks man." He looked outside. "Whoa, is that you're car?"

"Yeah."

"Nice, very nice."

We both climbed into the car and I drove off. Mooner kept repeating whoa, until we reached the station.

"Now that was sweet." He said. I left him to reschedule after I received my receipt. Felling good, I drove over to McDonald's drive-through and order three large fries and three Cokes for Lula, Connie, me. Unable to resist the intoxicating scent of French fries I pulled over into the parking lot and chowed down. Halfway through, I noticed that someone was standing behind the car.

"That's weird." I said to myself feeling a little afraid. The figure moved beside me. Blue eyes, brown hair, approximately 6'2. Oh my God! It was Mueller!

He had a knife in his hand and started stabbing it through the window. Glass fell all over me. Shrieking I put my foot onto the pedal and pressed down. Mueller dropped the knife just missing me by an inch. I didn't stop gunning until I felt I was out of Mueller's way.

"Wow," I said after shaking for about a minute, "This car really is fast."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 8:

Now I was unsure of what to do and where to go. Joe wouldn't want to see me and I didn't want to go over to my parents. I needed a quiet safe place where no one would bother me. Realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I was staying at a place that could offer me all that and more! I turned and headed straight for Ranger's apartment.

Once inside of the apartment I had a bit of a dilemma. I wasn't quite sure what to do now that I was here. I could watch television, take a shower, or read. Well I never got the hang of Ranger's remote, I had already taken a shower today, and I didn't bring any reading material with me. My eyes travelled to Ranger's room. I inside there was a big bed with incredible sheets and the softest pillows man-kind had ever created. Before I could even register what I was doing, I crawled under the covers and drifted off to sleep.

I awoke several hours later from a light shining into the bedroom. I opened my eyes to see a dark figure leaning on the doorway. It was Ranger and a smile was on his face.

"I need a favour," he said. I sat up and hoped that my hair wasn't too crazy.

"What?" I asked, wishing my voice didn't sound so squeaky.

"I need you to help me bring in an FTA." Oh boy. When ever I helped Ranger disaster always reared its ugly head.

"What do you want me to do?" I couldn't exactly refuse him considering I was staying in his apartment and lying in his bed.

"I need you to be a distraction." Ah huh.

Two hours later we were ready to go. I was decked out in a short black skirt with fishnets, a low v-neck t-shirt, and four inch FMP (fuck-me pumps). My eyelashes had five coatings of mascara and my lips were painted cherry red. I looked totally bitching, in the words of Lula.

Ranger, Tank and a few men I didn't know were waiting for me in the garage. They are eyes popped out of their heads when they say my get-up.

"I meant for you to distract him, not my whole team." I smiled coyly. Everyone but Ranger laughed. We all piled into Ranger's SUV.

"So where are we going?" I asked after a couple of beats of silence.

"Pimentos." Ranger replied. Pimentos was a pretty intimate bar/restaurant. It was a major hook-up spot. It was the perfect place for my little costume.

"And who am I looking for?"

"Jared Fallow." Ranger handed me a picture. I tucked it into my purse.

We arrived at the restaurant. Ranger gave me my directions. I was to flirt with him and then ask him to come outside with me for some air in about twenty minutes. Ranger then took me aside and gave me a tiny microphone so he could know what was going on. With no where else to put it, I stuck it in my bra. I then walked into the restaurant.

After taking a quick scan of the restaurant, I noticed Jared sitting at the bar, checking out the blond on his left. Hiking my bra up, I strode up to the bar and sat down on the remaining stool beside him. I could feel his eyes sweeping over my body. I turned to him.

"Hi," I cooed.

"Hey," he said back, his eyes settling on my chest.

"So what's that you got there?" I asked pointing to his drink.

"Huh?" He sounded like he was coming out of a trance. "Oh, it's just scotch on the rocks."

"Looks good." The bartender came over to us.

"Two more of these!" Jared said lifting up his glass. The bartender handed us our

drinks and I took a giant gulp. My throat felt like it was on fire as the liquid went through

it.

"Wow," I breathed. "This is strong." Jared smiled at me.

"So," He began, "um what's your name?"

"Oh! Yeah, um, my name is…Valerie." I lied, using the first name that came to

my mind. It just happened to be my sister's name.

"Valerie," he said slowly. "That's a pretty name."

"Uh huh," I answered avoiding his eyes.

"So Valerie, what do you do?"

"Oh, you know a little bit of this and that."

"Nice," his eyes settled on my chest again. "Very nice."

"So," I mustered up my breathiest sex kitten voice, "What do you do?"

"A little bit of this and that." Jared smiled slyly. I stifled a shudder.

"Interesting," I sent him my best smile. Out of the corner of my eye I could see

two vaguely familiar people sit down at a table. I shifted my gaze to see. Oh. My. God. It

was Morelli! And worst still, he was with that skank Terry Gilman.

I guess he felt my gaze because he looked over where we were sitting. I quickly

ducked behind Jared.

"What?" He asked puzzled by my freakish behaviour. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. Wow, is it ever hot in here! Why don't we slip outside for some

fresh air?"

"Really? How about one more drink?"

"Well," I looked back at Morelli. "Okay. One quick one."

As Jared ordered more drinks I checked out Morelli and Terry. Terry was wearing a black halter dress that's it neckline plunged so low it almost reached her belly button. Morelli couldn't keep his eyes off of her and I felt a sharp stab of jealousy. Jared noticed me staring at them.

"She's hot." Jared said pointing to Terry. I grabbed my glass of scotch which had just been put down onto the counter by the bartender. I drank it in one big gulp.

"Whoa, you must have been thirsty." He said with a big grin on his face.

"Yep." I started to feel a little woozy. The drink had gone straight to my head. I accidentally slumped onto him. He looked thrilled.

"Why don't we go get that fresh air now?" He asked. I nodded. Good thing he suggested it because if I spent anymore time in the bar I'd probably pass out or go ape shit on Morelli and his date. In the process of getting up I accidentally dropped the glass I was holding and it fell smashed onto the floor. Everyone in the bar turned and stared at me.

"Shit," I whispered. I turned saw Morelli get out of his seat and head over to where we were standing.

"Let's go!" I yelped, but it was too late.

"Stephanie? What are you doing here?" Morelli asked, his eyes narrowed. Oh shit.

"She's with me. And her name is Valerie." Jared defended grabbing my hand. I smacked his hand away involuntarily.

"No, her name is Stephanie Plum. She's a bounty hunter. And she's probably here tonight just to piss me off by hooking up with you."

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm not here because of you. And didn't even know you'd be here!" Morelli scoffed. I sent him a dirty stare.

"Wait a minute. You're a bounty hunter?" Jared asked his face turning white.

"Yep, Trenton's most notorious one." Morelli quipped before I even had a chance to defend myself. Jared turned and looked at me; a red flush was creeping up his neck.

"I can explain," I started. "I just came here tonight because…because now that I don't have anyone in my life," I shot a nasty look at Morelli, "I thought I could try to meet someone new."

"Come on," I said to Jared. "Let's go outside."

"Oh no you don't!" Morelli shouted.

"Why do you care? Don't you have to get back to _Terry_?" I spat.

"Oh here we go again." Morelli rolled his eyes.

"There is no we or again! We're over, remember? You broke up with me!"

"I wouldn't have had to if you hadn't of run off to Ranger!"

"That's ridiculous! You're being ridiculous!"

"Ranger? What is going on?" Jared asked looking both scared and distrustful. I waved him away.

"Look, I didn't want to break up. But you wouldn't have it any other way! You just had to be so god damn stubborn!"

"Well how would you take it if your girlfriend was moving into a guy's house that is known to have the hots for her!"

"It's not like that!"

"Listen," Jared started, "I'm going to head out. It was nice meeting you but…"

"No!" I yelled. Conversation had completely stopped in the restaurant. Everyone was staring at the drama unfolding.

"No," I lowered my voice. "I'll go with you. I apologize for him. We were together, but trust me we are so over!"

"I don't know," Jared looked very confused.

"Don't do it. She'll fuck up your life completely." Morelli said viciously.

Before I could response, the front doors of the bar opened with a bang. Ranger came storming over to us. He quickly snapped handcuffs onto Jared's wrists while everyone was still in shock.

"What the…?" We all ignored Jared.

"Figures she's with you." Morelli spat at Ranger. "It's all your fucking fault! It's always your fucking fault!"

"Joe!"

"It's okay," Ranger said quietly. "Come on, let's go. I think you guys have caused enough of a scene."

"No way! Not until we settle this once and for all!" Joe shouted. I watched in frozen horror as Joe swung his fist into Ranger's face.

"Oh my God! Ranger! Joe!" I didn't know what to do. I could only watch as things only got worse.

Ranger remained calm, but you could the red mark on his cheek.

"Morelli, stop this." Ranger said very calmly.

Morelli responded by another punch to Ranger's face. Ranger pushed Morelli across the bar. Once Morelli picked himself up, he hurled himself at Ranger. They both went flying out of the restaurant and into the parking lot. The entire restaurant piled out of the bar to see the scene unfolding.

Morelli and Ranger were fighting it out street style. Punching, kicking, shoving, and swearing, it was madness.

"Stop! Both of you stop!" I screamed. They both ignored me. Thinking quickly, I took off my shoe and hurled it at them. I missed. I took off my other shoe and sent it flying. This time it made contact with Morelli's head. They both turned to look at me. They were both scratched up and Morelli had the beginnings of a black eye.

"Look at you two! This is so…_stupid_!" I cried hysterically. I ran over to them and pulled them apart. Terry came over to us and pulled Morelli away. With one last dirty look at us, Morelli and Terry drove away in Morelli's truck.

"Shit." Ranger said. I turned my head up to look at him.

"What?"

"Fallow got away."


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm sorry it's a short chapter! Thank you for all the great reviews! Keep them coming!**

Chapter Nine:

I was still mad at both Ranger and Morelli when we returned to the apartment. Ranger tried to talk to me a few times but I shut him up with my dirtiest Plum stare. Why did boys have to be so dumb!

"Babe," Ranger sighed exhaustedly, "I'm sorry. It got out of hand."

I melted a little despite myself.

"Yes it did. It definitely did." Ranger smiled at me. I couldn't stay mad. He was too gorgeous.

"Well don't do it again." I warned sounding like his mother. His smile widened with the knowledge he had been left off the hook.

I felt a yawn coming on. "Well, I'm beat. I'm just going to go to bed." I said.

"Good night." Ranger said. He walked over to me and gave me a small kiss on the lips. Then with a grin he disappeared into his bedroom. Damn him.

Mumbling to myself I crawled under the covers. A few hours passed and I still couldn't sleep. I felt cold and lonely. My thoughts turned to Ranger sleeping all alone in the big comfy bed of his. Unaware of what I was doing, I burst into Ranger's bedroom and crawled into bed beside him. This is better, I said to myself. Then I fell fast asleep.

The next morning I woke up happy and at ease. I rolled over. Ranger was staring at me with an amused expression on his face.

"Sleep well?" He asked. I nodded. I watched him climb out of bed wearing only a pair of black silky boxers. I held tightly onto the sheets. It was the only way to stop me from jumping his bones.

He disappeared into the bathroom. I put my head back on the pillows and started to snore.

Fifteen minutes later I heard a voice say, "Bathroom's all yours." I quickly arose.

"Great." I raced into the bathroom and locked the door. How embarrassing.

After a very long shower later, I stepped out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Ranger had left but there was a plate of food on the counter waiting for me. The plate consisted of a bagel with various kinds of cream cheese. I scarfed the bagel down with a glass of orange juice. Feeling refreshed and full, I waltzed out of the apartment.

Today Ranger had left me the truck. I climbed into the vehicle and headed straight to the office.

"No Porsche today, huh?" Lula noted. "Too bad. That's a righteous car."

"The truck is righteous too," I defended.

"Yeah, anything of Ranger's is righteous." We all nodded in agreement.

"So what's going on with Mueller? Have you given him to Ranger?" I asked Connie. Usually I went after criminals like Mueller. But this guy I had no interest in capturing. Someone else could get stalked and shot at.

"Vinnie is still counting on you, but I'm sure he won't object if Ranger took over." replied Connie. Good.

"So else is there for pick-up?"

"Well we got this one yesterday. Brandon Kellogg, he's wanted for sexual assault. Third time offender."

So he'd know the drill. I grabbed the file from Connie and headed out to the truck with Lula.

"It doesn't list a job so I take it he'll be at home."

"Uh huh, so what are we going to do? I'm in the mood to kick some ass. 'Specially in the form of some skinny white perv."

"There will not be any ass kicking."

"Come on! Look at 'im! He deserves to get his ass kicked!" True.

"No." Lula sat in huffy silence the rest of the ride.

"You're not any fun." She mumbled under her breath.

We arrived at Kellogg's house. The place was a dump! Garbage was strewn across the lawn; the grass was bleached brown, discarded car parts lay all over the driveway, and the Chevrolet sitting in the driveway was covered with bullet holes and rust. It was not a pretty picture.

"Ew, nasty." Lula wrinkled her nose at the sight.

"Come on." I grabbed her arm and pulled her with me. We carefully avoided the junk lying everywhere. Finally we made it to the front door.

We banged on the door. No answer.

"Maybe he's not home," Lula said. I could see hope in her eyes. We rapped on the door again. We kept banging until the next door neighbour walked out of her house and glared at us. She looked like she was over a hundred. In true New Jersey fashion she was wearing a hot pink velour track suit with a playboy bunny stitched on the front.

"Stop making such a racket! I can't here my soaps with you two banging like that!"

"Sorry, we're looking for Mr. Kellogg. Do you know if he's home right now?"

"He's always home! He's a dirty bum! Look at the way he leaves his yard! Makes the whole neighbourhood look bad." I took a glance at her front lawn. Plastic lawn ornaments were placed all over the yard with no particular pattern. I'd say making the neighbourhood look bad was a group effort.

"What should we do?" asked Lula. I shrugged.

"Who are you guys anyway?" she asked us with her eyes narrowed.

"We're bail enforcement agents. We need to bring Mr. Kellogg down to the station so he can reschedule a court date." That and also to throw his sorry ass behind bars.

"So you're bounty hunters."

"In other words, yes." She nodded her head and walked up to front steps to where we were standing.

"Kellogg," she yelled while opening the door. "Get your lazy ass up!" And she walked right in. Unsure of what to do, Lula and I followed.

The stench of the house was repulsive. There was half-eaten food scattered about, dirty clothes, and unidentifiable garbage all over the floor and furniture. There was no denying. He was a huge slob.

"Aieee!" Lula screeched as she nearly stepped on a cockroach. We both shuddered. Finally we spotted him lying on a couch. He looked as neat as his house. His neighbour walked right over to him and screamed in his ear.

"Get up you no good bum! There are some people here to say you!"

"You crazy bitch," he said sleepily, "What the hell?"

"You have company." He turned and looked at us.

"And who the fuck are you?"

"Mr. Kellogg, we have been assigned to take you down to the station. You missed you're court date and we need you to come with us so you can reschedule."

"There's no way I'm going with you! What do you think I am, stupid?"

"You sure look like it." Lula quipped.

"Shut up you crazy fat bitch!"

"Who are you calling fat?"

"You! Fat, fat, fatty, fat, fat!" Lula lunged for him. He swung out of her way and she landed on the floor with thump. The whole house shook.

"You can't catch me fatty!" He yelled crazily and started running away.

"What's wrong with you? Go after him!" Lula screamed. I had temporarily frozen in place. But before I could do anything, his neighbour pulled a gun out of what seemed like no where and shot him in the leg! He fell to the floor screaming. Lula and I watched in horror as he passed out from the pain.

"Always wanted to do that," She said smugly. "Had it since my husband passed away. Needed some protection from creeps like him." Lula and I could only nod. We ran over to him to see if he was okay.

"I'll bet he'll go with you co-operatively now." She smiled and walked away.

"Wait!" I yelled after her. But she was already gone.

"This isn't good. They're gonna think you did it."

"Me? Why me?"

"'Cause you the big bad bounty hunter and I'm just the assistant."

"No, you're the one with the gun."

"Yeah, but she doesn't have the same gun as me."

"I don't have the same gun either!"

"Well I guess there's no point arguing. We should probably take him to the station."

"No, he needs to go to the hospital. I'll take his arms and you take his legs."

"I don't wanna touch him!"

"Well we can't leave him."

"Fine, but you carry his nasty legs. I'll take the arms."

"Fine," I sighed exasperated. We quickly picked him up and immeaditely dropped him. He was heavier than he looked. On the second try we got him to his porch before dropping him again.

"This is impossible!" Lula cried. "We're dragging blood every where!"

"Maybe we should call an ambulance." I suggested, dreading the thought. Lula nodded. Sighing to myself I dialled 9-1-1. I told them the story, hoping they'd believe it and Lula and I wouldn't be arrested.

Five minutes later the ambulance came accompanied by three cop cars and one fire truck. Everyone had to know the latest story of Stephanie Plum's misadventures. My mother's phone was probably already ringing off the hook. They carried Kellogg away on a stretcher. Lula and I had to remain for questioning. I thanked God Morelli wasn't there. He'd probably arrest us and then throw away the key.

"So it was his neighbour who shot him?" The officer asked me.

"Yes! Her house is right over there!" The officer signalled one of his colleagues to go and get her. A minute later the three of us were being grilled by the cops.

Finally we were all let go. I received my money and gave Lula the amount I owed her. Despite everything, it wasn't a hard capture. Just a very stressful one. I dropped Lula off at the office and headed home. It had been a very long day.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Ten:

As I rode the elevator all I could think about was sleep. Every muscle in my body was craving it. I yawned into my fist. I needed a job that didn't make me feel so dead at the end of the day.

When I walked into the apartment the scent of sautéed mushrooms, green peppers, onion and well cooked steak almost knocked me over. Forget about sleep. All I wanted now was to sit down and devour every last bit of the meal. I followed my nose to the kitchen.

"Yum," I said to Ranger. He gave me the full 200 watt smile. I looked at the table. A crisp white table cloth had been laid out, and there were candle sticks on the table. This was not the Ranger I knew.

"Ella's idea. She set up the whole thing." He answered my questioning look. He set the plates on the table and filled our glasses with wine. Before I could sit down, he pulled my chair out for me. I liked gentlemanly Ranger.

"Don't get used to this. I don't normally eat like this."

"Okie Dokie." Oh, my god. I am such a dope! Ranger's lips turned up in an almost smile.

We both dug in. I ate my meal in what seemed like two bites. It was so delicious I was drooling.

"So," I began feeling more relaxed, "What is Ranger really like?" He stared at me.

"What do you mean?" He asked slowly.

"Well, I only see one side of you mostly. The crime fighting Batman one. But I have no idea what you're really like. I mean it's like I only see the person you want me to see. But the person you want me to see is really mysterious and doesn't talk much so I really don't even know who you or that person is. Do you understand what I mean? You leave me in the dark on so many things!" I would have continued rambling but he cut me off.

"What do you want to know?'

"What? Oh, um, I don't know. Well tell me about your daughter and you're ex-wife. What happened?" He gave me a long hard look before he answered.

"Not much to tell. We were young when we got married and we were young when we had Lily. We spilt up because she couldn't handle the life I was living. We both decided it was best if she had custody of Lily because of my job. I visit Lily when I'm in Florida, and no, I don't have a bad relationship with her mother."

Okay. "What was your wife's name?"

"Michelle," he said very quietly. I nodded slowly.

"All right! Next question," I said eager to move on. I didn't really want to hear about his ex-wife. "How long have you known Tank?"

"My whole life." Ranger answered simply. Damn, he was acting like his annoying, mysterious self again. I felt like this was going nowhere. I knew to get anything juicy I'd have to go back to the topic of his ex-wife.

"Have you had a serious relationship since Michelle?" I asked testing her name. Ranger looked almost caught off guard.

"Not really. There's been some one for awhile but I haven't figured her out yet." Oh. A small shadow of doubt crossed my mind and I was filled with too many emotions. All left me confused.

"Who is she?" I asked, my heart hammering outside of my chest. All the voices in my head went silent, waiting for a response.

"You," Ranger said after a couple beats of silence. "She's you." I felt myself float out of my body towards the ceiling. I watched the scene from above. Ranger looked very tense and I looked dumb-founded. Not the best look for me.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked one I had floated back into my body. That was the only voice in my head that was making any sense so that was the response I went with.

"How could I have? You were with Morelli. I couldn't do that to you. I just," he took a deep breath, "didn't want you to get hurt and ruin any chance with both of us. I thought you two were going to get married. I always believed you wanted to be with him more than me."

"And now," he continued, "Everything is different. You guys have broken up for good," he shot me a questioning look. I nodded slightly. "So it's free game. But I just don't want to break your heart. I don't want you to constantly worry about me and fear for my life. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to us. I don't want us to end up like Michelle and I did." He paused and checked my reaction. I was so caught up in the moment my face was totally blank. I felt frozen in place.

"I guess what I'm trying to tell you," he cleared his throat, "I just want to say I…I love you." Wow. Double wow.

"Um, uh, I don't really know what to say. Thank-you?" I am the biggest, absolutely biggest dope to ever walk the Earth! Ranger looked at me sadly. I wanted desperately to say it back but the words wouldn't come out.

"Forget it," Ranger mumbled. "I'm going to bed." I watched him get up and hurry into his bedroom. The doors slammed behind him. Did I mention what a big dope I am?

Sighing to myself, I blew out the candles and cleared the table. Great, I said to myself, you finally get him to open up and then you shoot him down. Stephanie Plum, master of screwing up relationships.

Once I finished cleaning up, my exhaustion caught up with me. I dragged my feet over to the couch and flopped down. I couldn't wait for sleep to come.

Two hours later I was still awake. My guilt and feelings toward Ranger deprived me of sleep. I desperately wanted to run into his bedroom and tell him how I really felt, but I couldn't. How ironic, the man who hardly talked could say the three most important words in the English language, and yet I, a non-stop talker wasn't able to say them. Another reason I couldn't say my feelings was Joe. I still had feelings for him. Why did I have to be such an indecisive idiot?

Around midnight I finally fell asleep. I kept having nightmares about Mueller chasing me and Ranger and Joe just standing there watching. I'd ask them for help but they'd just look at me. It was unsettling.

At seven, I finally got up. I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of orange juice. I was sitting at the table reading the newspaper when Ranger walked into the kitchen.

"I didn't think you'd be up this early," he commented after an awkward silence.

"I didn't sleep well." I admitted. He nodded very slightly just like he used to when we first met. It made me very sad.

"Ranger," I started, but he interrupted me before I could go on.

"I'm going now. Here are the keys to a SUV; Tank will show you which one." He'd said stiffly. Then he abruptly left the apartment. I sighed into my empty glass.

It took me ten minutes to get ready. I skipped the shower and threw my hair into a sloppy ponytail. The only makeup I wore was two coats of mascara. I dressed in my normal uniform of jeans and a t-shirt. I looked how blah I felt.

Tank was waiting for me in the garage.

"So what is going on between you guys? I haven't seen Ranger this upset since he and was wife spilt. What happened?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"Not yet, but he will once he calms down. Everyone working for him is going to be pissed at you. He's already barking at people."

"Great, now not just he will hate me, but the entire crew." My headed began to slowly pound. What a crappy start to the day.

"No, they won't. Some might," Tank said gently joking. I rolled my eyes. He then directed me to my SUV. It was nice, but it was definitely not as nice as the Porsche, or even the truck. It was very impersonal and I felt twice as depressed as I already was. Tank noticed my mood.

"Look, Bombshell, he loves you. I and know you feel the same way. You just need to give him time. He'll come around." I knew he'd come around. The question was would I ever?


	9. Chapter 11

**Okay I know some of you are mad about what I did to Ranger and you'll probably not like what will happen next (sorry for the give away). But please just stick with me. I know what I'm doing (wink). Thanks for all of the reviews. Please keep giving me more.**

Chapter Eleven:

As I drove to the office I involuntarily started comparing Ranger to Morelli. I was hoping to make a decision but it wasn't so easy. If I stayed with Morelli we'd probably get married and he'd morph me into a housewife. I didn't like the picture of me as a housewife. I'd have an excruciatingly ordinary life, and I couldn't stand living that way. On the other hand, if I was with Ranger I may never know where I completely stood with him. I also didn't have any idea how things would turn out and what my life would be like. My life expectancy would drop lower than it already was. It didn't know which was scarier. A normal Burg life or life that could end at any moment? I mentally scolded myself. When it comes to men why do I have to be such an idiot?

I finally pulled up to the office. Lula and Connie both jumped out of their seats trying to see what car I would be driving. They both were disappointed when I pulled in with a normal Rangeman SUV. I felt the exact same way. Just because he was mad at me didn't mean he had to strip me of cool car privileges.

"Dang girl," Lula said as I walked inside. "What happened? Why are you driving one of Ranger's boring ass SUV's rather than a Porsche?" I looked at her wearily and shrugged. I definitely did not want to go into detail.

"She's not telling us everything." Connie noted. Both Lula and she jumped on me faster than a cougar on a poor unsuspecting animal. They were not going let up until I told them the truth. Sighing loudly, I began telling the whole pathetic tale.

"Well, it started last night when I arrived at Ranger's apartment," they nodded eagerly, lapping up every word I was saying.

"He had dinner waiting for me…"

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Lula and Connie said in unison. I rolled my eyes.

"Do you want me to go on?" I asked irritably. They nodded and bit their lips.

"As I was saying, he had dinner waiting for me. After we were down eating, I thought it might be some fun to ask him some questions," Lula and Connie looked at each other knowingly. Asking Ranger questions is like playing Russian roulette. Thrilling at first, but then it turns into an unpredictable, possibly deadly game.

"First I asked him about his wife and kid. I mean I didn't want a whole lot of details, but I was desperate. Then I asked about Tank…"

"Ooh, what did you ask? I bet you asked what his real name was." Lula interrupted.

"No I bet she asked if he was seeing anyone. That's why Ranger is so mad."

"No maybe she asked about his tighty-whiteys!" We all chuckled. It was a welcomed distraction from the thing I was about to say soon.

"Actually I asked him how long he and Tank knew each other."

"That's sad girl." Lula and Connie shook their heads. Okay, it was a dumb question. But it was just a filler question to stall him long enough before I could ask him something really juicy.

"Then," I took a breath. This was the worst part. "I asked if he was seeing anyone." Connie and Lula sucked in air and held their breaths, waiting for the response.

"He said that he was, kind of."

"Who? Who!" They urged me to press on.

"Me. He said he was seeing me." They both looked at me strange. They hadn't quite figured out what was happening yet.

"Then he went on about how he didn't want to hurt me and that he thought it was better if Morelli and I were together. And then," I tried to prepare myself for the next detail I was about to spill. "He said he loved me." The room went deadly silent. Even Vinnie wasn't puttering around his office. That's because he was probably eavesdropping on our conversation from another one of his many bugs he set up in the office.

"Holy shit." Lula finally said. That about summed it up.

"So what did you say?" Connie asked with an eyebrow raised. Both of them knew that how I responded to that probably answered the question to why Ranger was mad at me.

"I said thank-you." Lula and Connie looked at me in disbelief. Neither of them could believe my stupidity. "I know! I know! I'm such a dope!"

"I can't believe you didn't say it back! I mean he's so damn fine! I have to restrain saying that to him every time he walks through that door!" Lula exploded. Connie nodded in agreement. Okay, so thank-you wasn't the best response to I love you. But it could have been worse, right?

The room had quieted down, and by the looks on Lula and Connie's faces and the intoxicating scent of Bulgari, I knew who had just walked in.

"Any new FTA's?" Ranger asked Connie. She nodded with her mouth hanging open. Her eyes darted back and forth from him to me. Lula was doing the same except she had the view from the couch. The room fell totally still.

"Okay," Ranger said grabbing the file. He turned to leave.

"Ranger…" I just couldn't control my mouth. The silence was driving me crazy. He turned to me and my mouth went dry. I just stared at him, hoping my face would say it all. He just turned and walked out the door. I felt even lower than I had this morning. So it wasn't just a joke he was playing. He was really upset. Great, I had really screwed up this time.

"Wow." Lula whispered. I could feel both their eyes burning holes in the back of my head. I couldn't take it any longer.

"Do you have any new files for me?" I asked Connie quickly, like I was in a big rush. She shook her head.

"Oh. All right. Let me know if anything comes up." I turned to leave when Lula ran up beside me. Not an easy feat in her tight purple leather pants.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked her eyes filled with sympathy. I couldn't handle her pitying me so I shook my head.

"Okay, but you know I'm here for you." I nodded, desperate to leave. I left the office with my head held high. Once I got into the car I started to bawl. I didn't realize how much I cared about Ranger. I really, really didn't want him to hate me. I wished the world would just swallow me up right then so I wouldn't have to face him or my true feelings.

After cruising around awhile I finally stopped at the Tasty Pastry. A doughnut would really cheer me up. After spending half an hour devouring a Boston Cream, I realized it failed to solve my problems. I was debating what a birthday cake might do when my cell phone rang. Ranger flashed on the screen.

"Hello?" I answered eagerly.

"I need you to come back to the apartment. We need to talk." Oh boy.

"Okay."

"'Kay."

He disconnected. I had a bad feeling while I drove to the apartment. Ranger was waiting for me in the garage.

"Come on." He said impatiently. I tried to read him while we waited in the elevator. He gave nothing away. It was a bad sign.

"Sit." He ordered once we were inside. Oh no, he was giving commands to me. This must really be bad. I sat down at the kitchen table, trying to ignore the images of last night that were seeping into my head.

"Look," he began right as he sat down, "about last night. Those things I said weren't true. I like you, but I'm not in love with you. Sorry if I mislead you." His words were cold and robotic. I sat in shook. I had expected yelling and cursing, anything but this. This was much, much worse.

My bottom lip started to tremble. I could not cry now, especially not in front of him.

"Oh, okay." I answered sadly. An awkward silence filled the apartment.

"You can go now." He said dismissing me. I quickly fled out of there. I was numb. Utterly and completely numb.


	10. Chapter 12

**I know this chapter is posted on the same day as the last one. But I've felt inspired lately. I hope you enjoy them! Remember to review!**

Chapter Twelve: 

I was in the garage when I realized something. I had just been kicked out of Ranger's apartment (or at least I thought I was), so where was I going to go? First of all I needed my stuff. I walked back into the elevator. When I got to the seventh floor the door was open and Ranger was stepping out to leave. I caught him off guard.

"I need to get my stuff." My voice sounded angry. I could feel the anger rushing through my veins. I was getting so mad that I could hardly see straight. He nodded slightly, seemingly unaware of feelings. It pissed me off even more.

I shoved him out of the way (no easy feat mind you), I walked over to the couch. My travel bag was already packed. Everything was good to go. I stared at him in disbelief.

"You packed for me!" I asked hysterically. What the hell!

"Ella did."

"Oh that makes things so much better. I can't believe this! I can't believe how badly you want to get rid of me!" I was really angry now. I was waiting for my head to spin.

"You can use the fourth floor. It's empty now." No way in hell.

"No! It's clear I'm unwanted here so I think it's better if I just go home!" So what if there was a homicidal manic after me. That was much better than staying anywhere near him!

"Babe," he said wearily. I stormed past him and went straight into the elevator. He looked at me sadly. I felt my heart weaken. No, I told myself. This is what he wanted.

"Hey Bombshell, where are you going?" Tank asked me once I stepped out of the elevator.

"Home. It's clear I'm not welcomed here anymore." I couldn't control the pitch of my voice. I sounded like Minnie Mouse.

He looked at me for a moment.

"Come on, I'll drive you." I climbed into the passenger side of his SUV. When we left the garage I started to rant.

"What I don't get is first he toys with me, making it seem like he wants me, but then sends me back to Morelli. And then when Morelli and I break up because of him, he'll keep playing games with me. So I try to find out where I stand and he tells me he loves me but he's just confused! And then, when I don't say anything back he denies me and sends me away! I mean if he actually loved me wouldn't he care enough to try to work things out between us?" I was foaming out the mouth.

"Wait, he said he loved you but you didn't say it back. No wonder he's upset!'

"Great so it's all my fault! Everything is always my fault! I'm so sick of everyone putting the blame on me!"

"I didn't say it was your entire fault. But you've got to understand something about Ranger. He doesn't open up very much. And when he does it's a very big deal to him. If he gets shut down, he builds a wall around himself. He tries to make it seem like it doesn't bother him. You just can't give up on him."

"What should I do then?"

"Tell him how you feel." That was the most helpful advice I had gotten in the past two days. Maybe in my entire life. We pulled to a stop in front of my apartment.

"Wow, thanks Tank. You give better advice than my friends."

"Don't tell anyone. I mean it Bombshell!" I laughed and shut the door behind me. I ran into my building before he could do anything more.

"Hi, Mrs. Bestler."

"Oh Stephanie! I haven't seen you around in a couple of days."

"I've been staying with a friend."

"Oh, how nice." It would appear to be, but no.

"Actually a man came looking for you yesterday."

"Who?"

"Well he didn't say his name but he was a big guy."

"What did he look like?"

"Well, he was tall, lots of muscles, brown hair, oh and he was white." Oh my God! It was Mueller!

"If you see him again don't let him in. He didn't go into my apartment did he?"

"No. I said you hadn't been here for quite awhile. Then he left. I haven't seen him around since."

"Thanks Mrs. Bestler." I walked out of the elevator and into my apartment. After a quick scan of the place, I rendered it safe. Thank God for that.

I checked my fridge for something to eat. Nothing looked very appetising to me. With nothing better to do I checked my messages. The first six were from my mother. I probably should have phoned her while I was away. She must have thought I had disappeared off the face of the Earth. The last message I had was an unknown number.

"Are you scared yet? Running out of places to go are you? Well don't get to comfortable I will find you. And when I do," he listed all the horrific details that would occur. "Sleep tight bitch."

I prayed with all my might that it was a wrong number. But who else then Stephanie Plum would get such message on her answering machine? Feeling extremely tired, I walked into my bedroom and collapsed onto the bed. Soon I was fast asleep. See not even messages from psychopaths could prevent me from sleep. At least that was the case today.

When I woke up several hours later it was dark outside. I checked the clock. It read 11:23. My stomach growled loudly. I got up and checked my fridge again, hoping the food fairy had come. She hadn't. My stomach growled again. What I could use was a chocolate bar. Licking my lips I grabbed my coat and keys. I didn't have a car but it didn't stop me from walking. I really needed a Snickers bar.

Panting and sweating, I finally marched into the 7-Eleven. Once inside I couldn't make a decision. They had Snickers bars but there were also Kitkats, Almond Joys, Reeses Pieces, and more. I grabbed all of them. When I got up to the cashier, he looked at me funny. What was I expecting? My eyes were wild and my hair was a giant ball of frizz.

"You look familiar," he said. I nodded tiredly.

"Wait a minute! You're Stephanie Plum! I can't believe it! You're like a celebrity! Is it true that you really burned down that funeral home?" I get asked this a lot. It annoys me more each time.

"No I didn't."

"Wow," he said looking at my purchases. "You must really be having a bad day." I quickly paid him and rushed out of there. Great, Stephanie Plum the big fat chocoholic freak. Oh, well. I had my chocolate, so I didn't care.

I started on a Kitkat while I was still in the parking lot. I knew the whole bag would be done once I got back home. While munching away I noticed a black truck pull up in front of me. A man got out of the car. Oh no, oh no, oh no!

"You're not going to live to see tomorrow." Mueller said. He punched me hard in the stomach. The wind was knocked out of me. I could hardly breathe.

"You like that?" Then he kicked me in the side. I shrieked in pain. He smiled. Couldn't the cashier see what was going on? Couldn't anybody! He pulled me behind the truck. I tried to wriggle out of his grasp but his grip was too strong. He dropped me.

"Get up!" I staggered to my feet. He slapped me across the face. My vision was blurred and I fell back onto the ground. I felt extremely dizzy.

"Stop," I croaked. It made him smile wider. In response he kicked me in the stomach. I threw up unable to handle the pain. I was surely going to die.

Bang! Bang! Bullets narrowly missed Mueller's head. He quickly fled back into his car. I crawled away as fast as I could. He missed running over my leg by an inch. Mueller peeled out of there. I watched Tank run over to me, with a gun in his hand.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

"Give me a minute." And then I passed out.


	11. Chapter 13

**Well here is Chapter 13. Keep sending reviews!**

Chapter Thirteen:

I opened my eyes as the car pulled in front of a house.

"Where am I?" I asked Tank. He smiled at me and undid my seatbelt. Then he got out of his car and walked over to the passenger side. He opened up my door and helped me out. I never knew that Tank could be such a gentleman. It was a welcome change from the silent buff Ranger sidekick I had gotten to know.

"Whose house is this?" I asked after we had stepped inside. I quickly scanned the room we were in. There was only a couch and a television in the whole entire room.

"It's mine. I haven't really had time to decorate since I'm usually at one of Ranger's apartments."

"It's…nice." I lied. It was the most lifeless house I had ever been it. It was incredibly depressing.

"Well it's a place to sleep." I followed Tank into his kitchen. It followed the same lifeless pattern as the previous room. Plain white walls, normal kitchen appliances, and a wooden kitchen table with two chairs. I sat down in one the chairs. Tank followed me.

"So why did you bring me here?" I asked, genuinely curious. I thought he would have taken me back to my apartment.

"Well Mueller would probably look for you at your apartment and you and Ranger are fighting, so I thought that this would be the safest place." I was surprised. Tank was smarter than he let on.

"Oh. Yeah that makes sense." We both fell silent, unsure of what to say. I realized I hadn't thanked him for saving my life yet. Where were my Burg manners?

"Thanks Tank, you know for saving my life. If it hadn't been for you," I shuddered determined not to go down that road.

"Well it was nothing," he said clearly embarrassed. We both smiled at each other.

"You must be exhausted." He finally said. I felt a yawn coming on.

"Yeah,"

"Well you can sleep on the couch." Tank disappeared up the stairs. When he came back down his arms were full of blankets and pillows. Together we turned the couch into a bed.

"Goodnight Tank." I turned to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. He had really been there for me today.

"Night Bombshell." I crawled under the covers. Before he had even left the room I fell asleep.

Loud banging at the door woke me out of my slumber the next morning. I stumbled over to the door. It was Ranger.

"Stephanie! Thank God you're okay." He pulled me into a hug.

"I was worried."

"Wait a minute." I pulled out of the embrace. "What's going on? I thought you didn't care about me anymore."

"Babe," Ranger sighed softly and walked over to the couch.

"Sit." I didn't move a muscle.

"Please Stephanie." I couldn't stop my feet from dragging me over to him. I sank down beside him.

"About yesterday," he looked into my eyes pleadingly. He was looking for a way out of this situation. There was no way in hell I was stopping him from saying what he was about to. He realized that and continued.

"I didn't mean what I said." I nodded slowly. Was that it? I wasn't sold over yet.

"When I said that…when I told you how I felt about you the day before yesterday I meant it. And I still do." He was starting to win me over.

"I was just…I don't know, upset, when you didn't say it back." He was really struggling. My heart went out to him. But I remained silent until he was done.

"So I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry. I shouldn't have treated you like that. And because of my actions you almost got killed." He sounded angry. I peered into his eyes. He really did feel responsible for last nights attack.

"Ranger, it's not your fault…"

"It is Stephanie. Nothing would have happened if I had been there for you. Instead I put you in danger. It's all my fault."

"Hey! You didn't force me to leave. You said I could have stayed. You also didn't force me to go out at night all alone and unprotected. It's not your fault Ranger. It's mine." He tried to protest but I silenced him with a kiss.

"Oh and Ranger,"

"Yeah Babe?"

"I love you." He gave me his famous wolf grin and pulled me into his arms for another heart melting kiss.

"Could you guys please not do that on my couch? I'd prefer if I didn't have to buy a new one." Tank said walking into the room with a smirk on his face. We all laughed.

"So what are we going to do now?" I asked Ranger.

"Well we could give you living with me another shot. If you want to." Ranger suggested. Hey it beats my apartment.

"Sure. But I'll have to get my stuff."

"Tank." Ranger nodded at him. He quickly left the room and drove off in his car.

"Come on," Ranger said pulling me to my feet. I followed out the door and we piled into his Porsche.

"Good to be back," I said softly to the car.

"What?" Ranger asked puzzled.

"Oh nothing," His lips curved into an almost smile. Stupid loudmouth me.

Tank had beaten us to Ranger's apartment building. Tank handed me my travel bag and walked off. I unzipped the bag. Everything seemed to be in order. I checked to see what undergarments Tank had packed me. Underneath my normal Jockey gear, I pulled out a red thong. There was a note tucked with it.

"For those distraction jobs…" It read. Damn that Tank.

"What?" Ranger asked, turning to me with a slight smile on his face. Why can't I say things in my head instead of saying them out loud?

"Oh, nothing, it was nothing." He surveyed me.

"Right," I glared at him. Ranger started to chuckle. I hadn't seen that in awhile. I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my lips.

We rode the elevator to the seventh floor apartment. Once we were inside, Ranger took my bag and tucked it away in his bedroom.

"Why did you put it there? I'm sleeping on the couch." I asked.

"Not tonight, Babe," He grin wolfishly. Oh boy. He pulled me close to him. His lips brushed over mine. I shivered. I forgot how much power he had on me. Determined to prove I could be the aggressor too, I kissed him hungrily on the mouth. Things started to intensify when I heard my cell phone ring.

"Damn," I complained pulling away. Ranger crossed his arms over his chest clearly unhappy with the interruption.

"Hello?"

"Stephanie, it's your mother." Like I really needed the reminder. She was probably calling to harass me for not returning her phone calls.

"Oh, hi Mom,"

"Where on Earth have you been? Why haven't you been answering your phone? I've tried to get a hold of you for several days now and you…" I winced as my Mom began to rant.

"I know. I'm sorry; it's just been crazy these last few days."

"Too crazy you couldn't even phone your own mother? And what's this I hear about you being attacked at a 7-Eleven?" I touched my cheek where Mueller had struck me. It was still a little red and sore. Ranger had been kind enough to not say anything.

"It was nothing Mom, I'm fine."

"So it's true? Oh why me? What did I do to deserve such a troublesome daughter? Why couldn't I have normal children?" Yeesh.

"I don't know," I said absentmindedly. I was too watching Ranger stare at me hungrily.

"Well, will you be able to come to dinner tonight?"

"Hang up the phone, Babe." Ranger whispered in my ear.

"Will we be able to make dinner?" I whispered back. He shook his head.

"Thanks for the offer Mom but I have plans. Nice talking to you. Bye!" I disconnected.

"Now where were we?" Ranger asked slyly, wrapping his arms around me.

"Here," I replied stealing a kiss. Things started to reheat when again my cell phone rang.

"What now?" Ranger huffed irritably.

"Hello?"

"Miss me? It's such a shame your friend interrupted us."

My blood ran cold. "Who is this?"

"You know perfectly well who this is. I just wanted to give you a little heads up. If you ever want to see your boyfriend again, you have six hours to figure out where I have hidden him"

"But he's right here." I shot a look at Ranger. Who was Mueller talking about?

"What?" He said thrown off guard for a moment. "Well your other boyfriend then. Here, why don't you talk to him?" There was a couple of beats of silence. Then Morelli's voice came on the phone.

"Stephanie?"

"Oh my God, Joe!" I yelped.

"I need you to help me," He sounded like someone was feeding him lines. "If you ever want to see me alive again you've got six hours. Starting…" he paused for a moment, "now." Mueller came back on the phone.

"Good luck bitch." The phone went dead. I stood there frozen in shock.

"What is it?" Ranger asked worriedly.

"It was Mueller. He says we've got six hours to find Morelli before he turns him into fish food."

**Okay so I realize Ranger most likely would pick Tank's house's lock but it went better with my story if he just knocked. And yes, Ranger and Steph are okay again. So you can breath easier...I'm only joking. My story is almost finished so just bare with me. Keep sending me reviews please!**


	12. Chapter 14

**Okay, so this is a really, really short chapter. But my story definately needed an update. So here's chapter 14. Enjoy! And don't forget to keep sending me reviews!**

Chapter 14:

Ranger stared at the floor without movement. He was like a statue. I on the other hand could not stay still. I fidgeted with the pocket in my sweater and paced back and forth the room.

"So," I prompted Ranger, unable to handle the silence, "What should we do?"

"Well let's think about this." Ranger finally said, his gaze turning to my face. My hands shook with fury. How could he say something like that? Morelli needed our help and we couldn't just ignore him.

"What's there to think about? We should be out there looking for him instead of standing here!" I exploded.

"We have no idea where he is. We should contact the police before we start anything." Ranger said evenly. His comment pissed me off further.

"What's wrong with you? We only have six hours! We don't have time to phone the police! By the time they find him he'll be dead! And it'll be all my fault!"

"Stephanie, calm down,"

"No! Look if you're not going to help me then I'll go and find him myself!" And with that, I quickly marched out of the room and into the elevator. I was putting the key in the ignition of one of Ranger's SUVs when someone started pounding on the door. It was Ranger.

"What?" I asked rolling down the window a teensy bit.

"Let's take the truck." I jumped out of the car and followed Ranger into his truck. I had barely gotten my seatbelt on when Ranger exhilarated out of the garage.

"So where do you think we should look first?" Ranger tossed his cell phone at me.

"First call the police and let them know what happened. We'll have a better chance finding him if we have they're help. I've already got Tank, Lester, Bobby, and Hal out looking for him too." Batman's quick on his feet.

"'Kay," I dialled the phone and retold Mueller's message. Right after I hung up, Ranger pulled the truck into a parking spot on Stark Street.

"I've heard from some people that Mueller was hanging around here." An hour of investigating passed and we still had no leads. I was growing more frightened every minute. My cell phone shrill ringing snapped me out of my trance.

"Hello?"

"Five hours." And then the phone disconnected.

"He's not here! Where could he be?" I screeched at Ranger who had been listening attentively to the brief conversation.

"Come on," We returned to the truck and sped off. I tried to clear my mind but picture of what could be happening to Mueller plagued my head. I silently prayed for Morelli's safety. I prayed for all our safety. Mueller was a very scary man and there was no telling what he'd do.

Five hours slipped into four hours, and four hours to three. The hourglass in my head was losing its sand quickly. Each minute I grew more anxious and more worried. I scanned through the list of possible locations they could be hiding in my head. Each was more unlikely than the next. I blew out a sigh to try to calm myself. Think Stephanie, think! My cell phone rang once again. I checked the clock before I answered, knowing what the message would be.

"One hour. Better hurry, or you're boyfriend here might disappear forever. Good luck!" Mueller cackled and hung up. My body was covered in goose bumps just thinking about it. I looked over at Ranger. His eyes glowed with determination. Despite his cool demeanour I knew he felt as scrabbled and scared as me. Ranger was always better at masking his emotions. Ranger's cell phone rang and my heart stopped waiting for a response. I watched him absorb the information he was given before he disconnected.

"Did they find him?" I asked hopefully.

"No. Lester says he's checked every back alley and every dumpster in Trenton and Morelli's no where to be found."

"Every dumpster and back alley in Trenton," I mimicked. The light bulb in my head finally went off.

"Did Lester check the dump?" I asked without missing a beat. Ranger stared at me, his face registered in recognition. He quickly dialled Lester's number to find out. I shook nervously waiting for the answer. Ranger disconnected the phone.

"No," I inhaled a big breath of air. I had forgotten to breathe. As Ranger drove to the dump, I stared at the clock. When we finally arrived to the dump there was only a half hour left. My gaze turned to the piles of garbage covering the landfill. Somewhere behind those piles was Morelli, waiting to be rescued. And somewhere, waiting for me behind those piles, was a monster preparing to destroy me.


End file.
